I’ll remember the night
I drank a bottle of wine
and a bottle of cough syrup
and felt nothing
except a little nausea
and the shadows of the trees a little trickier
and thoughts a little deeper
thoughts about how I’m alright here, there's just something
I don't understand
pass through - perfect poetry
and I let them slip away
when I used to grab at them so hungry to save the beautiful thought-words
with some reluctance I choose
a little differently these days
But my pain remains
Such an enigma to me.

The nausea stays
the figures fade
the neon flickers.
I need to get out of here and go walk the night.
and incant more thoughts I can’t make into words
about how I don’t understand
and how much I need something I have never seen before.

5.30.10