Words

"A word (sic) is the only place in which you can examine a fragile thought without breaking it, or explore an explosive idea without fear it will go off in your face. It is one of the few havens remaining where a man's mind can get both provocation and privacy."

Words: nootherwordstosay.tumblr

One year at Princeton University: $37,000. One year at a New Jersey state prison: $44,000

What is 6 o'clock?

I dug this up from September 9th, 2007.

"Right now, it's 6:26. Twenty-six minutes after 6 o'clock. What is 6 o'clock anyway? It represents a dimension, the cross-section of which I will not be appearing at certain places, I will not be appearing at yoga. I will not be appearing at the informational meeting for SF State's teaching credential program - my loser back up plan for life that I will most likely end up doing - and late at that.

What is 6 o'clock anyway? It is many steps toward that objective world which, the closer I move toward, the farther I am removed from my self as a determinate individual, according to Kierkegaard. The closer I move towards attempting to gain ideas and knowledge and knowhow of customs about the outside world, or anywhere or anything that is not my own mind and its own inner workings, the more I as a self will dissapear because the perspective I take on is one all the more adapted to what is general, to what has a root in no self, anyway. Nagel, I'm told in my frolickings in the world of objective learned things, calls it "The view from nowhere", also sometimes called "God's Eye view?" Who wants a perspective that's grounded in NOthing anyway?
 
So it's 6 o'clock and I am neglecting to be in one place, yoga, which represents the "normal" person in me, the part yuppy, the part that wants to be healthy and look good, but something that I can consider an extension of myself and at the same time that part that seeks connection with something greater and doing it through means of exercise has proved the anti-self-destruction, self-destruction having once been possibly THE greatest extension of my determinate self into the outside world. 
 
The second place I am neglecting to be, the informational meeting represents my official adult presence, DEEP in that objective world which has its own laws and order that I must remain in keeping with to avoid certain consequences. I would love to remain hulled up in my own brain with nothing but myself to keep me company on that long journey inward, at the end of which supposedly I will meet God, again, according to Kierkegaard. It would be the perfect excuse for the ultimate objective obliviousness, which I carry into my own world quite well sometimes. As for instance now: I was supposed to be somewhere, and I was supposed to be anotherwhere and instead I'm sitting in my home half dressed eating day-old tortilla chips, 'for fear of discovering that [I do] not have proper eyes but glass eyes, and hair made from a floor mat, in short, that [I will be and have already very much become] an artificial product.'
i
n the end, i am just swallowed up in it all
 
There's only one thing that saves me."