Those who have not, still have their intuition intact

"This [____ ] does not run a straight course from beginning to end. It hunts; and in the hunting, it sometimes worries the same raccoon in different trees, or different raccoons in the same tree, or even what turns out to be no raccoon in any tree. It finds itself balking more than once at the same barrier and taking off on other trails. It drinks often from the same streams, and stumbles over some cruel country. It counts not the kill but what is learned of the territory explored." - Nelson Goodman, Ways of Worldmaking


A quote delivered to me by a beautiful friend, who claims she has taken to Philosophy as an inspiration from me. It appears she could teach me a thing or two - to say in the least - about Philosophy, as is the case for most people who have studied it formally, versus those who have not. Those who have not, still have their intuition intact, and have much to offer the "educated".  

Dreams

Finally got my ass into a PhD program, and my husband got the job of his dreams, on the same day.

Now it's 3:37 am, been awake since 2:30 I have to be up in two and a half hours for a full day of work and can't sleep.

Too much excitement flowing through my heads and my veins. Feels like I'm dreaming.

Painting

From last week. I'm getting a thing for ram skulls.

From last night, to finish tonight:

A quote for high-reaching lovers

"...two stilt walkers holding hands who watch the sky while everyone else watches for their wobbles..."

Brain Damage

I generally tend to skip breakfast, and am frequently deprived of sleep, but I'm so glad to see that excessive alcoholism and drug use aren't on this list. Phew!

When I die, I hope there is no me, and I remember nothing

I want to be dissolved into this water, the roots of the trees, the moss on the pillars, the green life, and remember nothing of this awful humanity.

Rilke, poet, you are truth

“I am too alone in the world, and yet not alone enough

to make every moment holy.
I am too tiny in this world, and not tiny enough
just to lie before you like a thing,
shrewd and secretive.
I want my own will, and I want simply to be with my will,
as it goes toward action;
and in those quiet, sometimes hardly moving times,
when something is coming near,
I want to be with those who know secret things
or else alone.
I want to be a mirror for your whole body,
and I never want to be blind, or to be too old
to hold up your heavy and swaying picture.
I want to unfold.
I don’t want to stay folded anywhere,
because where I am folded, there I am a lie.
and I want my grasp of things to betrue before you. I want to describe myself
like a painting that I looked at
closely for a long time,
like a saying that I finally understood,
like the pitcher I use every day,
like the face of my mother,
like a ship
that carried me
through the wildest storm of all.”

(bold & italics added) 

I spent all my money on gifts for my boy and artificial happiness. I would benefit from more Rilke though. 

Note: I have not been able to find a title for this piece by him, if anyone who reads this knows of one, please let me know. 

...And You'll Never Let Me Go

...obsessed with this

"We Feel Fine" Project

This is pretty amazing.

We Feel Fine

Good Night

Will fall asleep to Felice Fawn's tumblr playlist, and this. 

Also, apparently, scientist are attempting to locate consciousness in what occurs between the actions of neurons and dendrites & synapses inside the brain which create a "local action potential" and some kind of measurable forcefield outside the skull - i.e. a quintessential feedback between this "forcefield" and the local action potential inside the actual brain. If my interpretation of Christof Koch is correct anyway, which it very well may not be. As Hemingway said "write drunk; edit sober".

I was supposed to be asleep so many hours ago. 

Letter of Love

I am exhausted, but very much feel the need to convey the message my husband sent to me. We are more on the same page than we have been since we were hopelessly (and absolutely helplessly) in love at the very beginning, then again at the next beginning.


To: Me
"I love you, and I would not ever choose to marry another, nor do I regret in any way marrying you.  You're my heart, my first and final real love, the person that makes people believe there is really just one true person out there.  

I know we aren't our best, but we are learning, and there is nothing that will allow me to stop fighting for you and for us.  I love you, and yes, it does hurt some times, but I would constantly choose the hurt you give me over the emptiness I'd have without you any and every day of the week.  That's what you are and mean to me, and don't you forget it.  

I don't need fancy cars, fancy hotels, fancy food.  I just want to be around you, with you, to explore and grow with you, to make love to you, to sleep and snuggle with you.  Regardless of status, there are few real comforts in life.  You're my comfort, so let's just have fun sometimes and play in the wild world."