IN THIS MOMENT - Blood

My husband just introduced me to this group - more mainstream than my usual taste but the tracks are deep and strong and beautifully dark and raw. The vulpine Maria Brink makes an incredible lead singer with an almost masculine voice on some tracks. So much power.

These two tracks in particular:

Whore

(this video is amazing)

Scarlet

Blue Boy - Painting from 1.24.13 at 2:00am

He said "make me blue". I said "okay."

lips

This weekend, we felt the glitter and the depth of the night together, and swooned to it in unison, not crashing against each other like flint and steel, but like waves that meld together.

Fauna to Flora - First Time Working With Color Pencils

(Note almost 2 weeks later: Working on this, I was pressing so hard with the color pencils that I lost feeling in the pads of my thumb and forefinger. The feeling in the pad of my thumb is still gone.)

Blue blossoms emerges in shades from the page.

a creature, in turn, emerges from the flowers. May I suggest, a dinosaur-turtle creature wearing a backpack, holding its pet plant on a leash.

Wanders into flora

 Starts to become flora

Transmogrification, complete.

ANGELDUST

Transporting. Perfection. Right. Now.

Time Jesum Transeuntum Et Non Riverentum

An excerpt of one of my favorite Nick Cave songs. 

Then we headed back to our world,
and left the forest behind, our hearts singing with all the knowledge of love.

But somewhere, somehow, we lost the message,along the way,and when we got home, we bought ourselves a house.
And we bought a car that we did not use,And we bought a cage,and two singing birds.And at night we'd sit and listen to the canary song.
For we'd both run right out of words.

Now the stars they are all angled wrong,and the sun and the moon refuse to burn.
But I remember a message, in a demon's hand,

Rumi Quotes

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” 

“Reason is powerless in the expression of Love.” 

“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing 
and rightdoing there is a field.I'll meet you there.
When the soul lies down in that grassthe world is too full to talk about.”


"I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.
Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.
They're in each other all along.” 

"There is a void in your soul, ready to be filled.
You feel it, don't you?” 

“I have lived on the lip
of insanity, wanting to know reasons,
knocking on a door. It opens.
I've been knocking from the inside.” 

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”


“The minute I heard my first love story,

“What you seek is seeking you.”

“There is a candle in your heart, ready to be kindled.

“Let yourself be drawn by the stronger pull of that which you truly love.” 

“I have lived on the lip

“Come, come, whoever you are. Wanderer, worshiper, lover of leaving. It doesn't matter. Ours is not a caravan of despair. come, even if you have broken your vows a thousand times. Come, yet again , come , come.” 

“Set your life on fire. Seek those who fan your flames” 

On Soul Mates.

I have edited out quite a bit from this quote because there were times when it went beyond challenging my thoughts and sentiments (which I generally try my best to invite), to a degree I felt no longer represented where I feel I am right now. But the rest of this is gold to me at this point in time, and very helpful for finding solace:

"...I think the reason it’s so hard for me to get over this guy is because I seriously believed he was my soul mate. ”He probably was. Your problem is you don’t understand what that word means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates come into your life to reveal another layer of yourself to you...shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light could get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you had to transform your life.
...If you clear out all that space in your mind that you’re using right now to obsess about this, you’ll have a vacuum there, an open spot – a doorway. And guess what the universe will do with the doorway? It will rush in and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed." - Elizabeth Gilbert
I have this person in my life, right now. It is immensely painful, and that doesn't even begin to touch it. The part where the author or narrator says "But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful." That part feels like it could be a cop out. What if someone was willing to withstand the pain. What would both people get in return? Or would it just destroy them both. 

Painting & Babble

At first I tried to make them look as similar as possible. Then, as I found myself obsessively and frantically erasing, whiting out, and re-painting lines and colors and memories of moments, I realized that while they were obviously from a similar mould, their coexistence was only amplified by their assertion of uniquenesses and individuality from one another. That's what makes them right together. The disagreements the differences should be never, ever be erased and redrawn. Those who wear them, who ARE them, would benefit from the realization that those differences are what make them special as individuals. They lend each other's specialties to distinction by proudly asserting their points of disagreement, and always keeping close by the knowledge of what they are, and what they have to offer.

Your author, feeling healthy & strong ...

Richard Thompson - Beeswing

I used to listen to this all the time, and wonder who would know this about me. 

A Few of My Dearest Loves

I will never stop being in love with these books. To be able to keep them bedside, and reach over and open one any time makes me swoon, and realize no matter what how much it will always be okay, whenever I am strong enough to remember who I am.

I lay in bed tonight with incense and icicle lights, overwhelmed by a feeling of bodily, spiritual, and mental calm I have not experienced in a long, long time. 

...And you wouldn't want me any other way.

Sunset Song

"You said, if I hold my breath
Dive down deep enough
I might grow fins
Seems to me I've held my breath
Held my breath to please you
Ever since"

- Richard Thompson