Remake of A.W. Sandberg's Klovnen PLS

I would like to will into the world, a remake of KLOVNEN, with Lily Cole as Daisy, and Alan Cumming as Joe Higgins.

I am not yet sure of the best-fitting director. Just. Please.

To Frankenstein, To Dracula

I have imaged myself this way, over and over again. To escape everything bare toes gripping along mossy boughed branches in the night, white chiffon and gossamer flowing behind me. Bloodied, starved and not giving a shit. Bottle of sweet red wine clutched beneath my arm, and, most importantly, a horrifying, transporting, old, old story book under the other. Not a person or a computer or goddamn cell phone in sight. Just the dark, the woods, and enough light to read by, to stay a while, to escape to whatever place I open the page to. To Frankenstein, to Dracula, to Carmilla.

Young and Beautiful - Lana Del Rey

Young and Beautiful - Lana Del Rey

from The Great Gatsby

KLOVNEN

'KLOVNEN' by A.W. Sandberg (1926) tonight @ the SF Silent Film Festival has been my favorite so far of four screenings. Accompanied by a Swedish orchestra, the music along with the outpour of emotion evoked so singularly by the best silent film actors, Gösta Ekman (not to mention his incredible makeup that gets progressively darker throughout the film) was exquisite, and utterly heartbreaking. 

This clip doesn't do the whole context of the film justice, but it captures some of its excruciatingly sad beauty.

It Takes An Ocean Not To Break

He said he used to listen to this at the beginning. How much more appropriate it seems for now instead. Just one thing of so much that he will have given me. 

Terrible Love

THE NATIONAL

It's a terrible love and I'm walking with spidersIt's a terrible love and I'm walking inIt's a terrible love and I'm walking with spidersIt's a terrible love and I'm walking in
It's quiet companyIt's quite a company
It's a terrible love and I'm walking with spidersIt's a terrible love and I'm walking inIt's a terrible love and I'm walking with spidersIt's a terrible love and I'm walking in
It's quite a companyIt's quite a companyIt's quite a company
And I can't fall asleepWithout a little helpIt takes a lot to settle downI sailed a boat into the past except
It takes an ocean not to breakIt takes an ocean not to breakIt takes an ocean not to breakIt takes an ocean not to break company
It's quiet companyIt's quiet company
But I won't follow you into the rabbit holeI said I would but then I sawYour shiver bonesThey didn't want me to
It's a terrible love and I'm walking with spidersIt's a terrible love and I'm walking inIt's a terrible love and I'm walking with spidersIt's a terrible love and I'm walking in
It takes an ocean not to breakIt takes an ocean not to breakIt takes an ocean not to break

3:35 am

And I had just finally begun to feel loneliness in that real way, where there is someone you fundamentally need.

I had only just barely allowed myself to open up in that way, and really feel it.

And now I'll just be left with that loneliness that that one won't be there to fill. I'll be left with torn down defenses. Let the world flood me like it did before.

And I'll attack. And I'll attack. And I'll attack myself.

Until I am numb again.

But these are just feelings. What I'll really hope, is that we can both be fulfilled, happy, strong, whether that's together or apart.

I'm just tired of feeling that i can do no right.