3:35 am

And I had just finally begun to feel loneliness in that real way, where there is someone you fundamentally need.

I had only just barely allowed myself to open up in that way, and really feel it.

And now I'll just be left with that loneliness that that one won't be there to fill. I'll be left with torn down defenses. Let the world flood me like it did before.

And I'll attack. And I'll attack. And I'll attack myself.

Until I am numb again.

But these are just feelings. What I'll really hope, is that we can both be fulfilled, happy, strong, whether that's together or apart.

I'm just tired of feeling that i can do no right.