No amount of intoxicants, compulsive exercise, transporting music, or films, will free me from this.
The end of a long, long day, usually ends around 2:00am; I've been sitting at my computer writing, studying, focusing for about 6 hours. The kindest greeting at the end of that would be something that makes me feel beautiful, a night walk, some warming gift to look forward to - even if it was just my own. Actually my own would be just fine. But I have no promise, no beauty, no night walks. Only guilt, blame...I tried to think of something else but that's about it.
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